Only Then
by Master-Sora
Summary: Riku remembers the times when he was happiest in the light and the night sky was not there to deceive him. RS


**Author's Notes**: I write things without even thinking sometimes. This is one of those pieces. I don't think its half bad, actually. And really, there is no plot. It's just drabble; though I'm kind of proud of this drabble. Kind of, anyway.

Yeah, yeah. I know. It's rated K+. No lemon! Oh em gee, no wayz. Suck it up, child. I'm tired of you people and needing a lemon or "action" to think a story's good. I _hate_ it. You can read it and review it anyway!

No. I'm not angry.

**Warnings**: Mild shounen-ai. It's nothing passed a little reference, so nothing too obvious. In fact, I think if you look at it another way, it could be nothing more than an RS friendship fic.

-

A dark velvet blanket littered with sparkling diamonds sat overhead in the expanse of the night. When it would shiver in the cool breeze, the diamonds would sparkle evermore. It welcomed the life below with false warmth, trying to accept them into the darkness it offered. It was a façade and nothing more, for the truth held that it was a cold breeze and painful lies.

A grin cracked on Riku's face; he knew of the lies. But the night sky—o what a beautiful lie it was! One could not help but be fooled by the glistening stars and soft sky that seemed so innocently beautiful. 'Beauty is only skin deep' fit nicely here; that saying truly did work for anything.

Innocence, no, the night sky was not a mark of innocence. The night sky was deceiving with angelic presence that only the heavens above could give off. But one was much better off in the safety of the morning glow when the sun beamed upon the land and the sky turned to the light.

Riku folded his hands delicately on his stomach, gazing up at the stars. A hateful glare glistened in the depths of his aquatic eyes though his face was calm; detached. The grass below him was parted, shaping around his outline as it tickled his exposed skin. His legs were crossed, his left foot bouncing to an unheard rhythm.

"How much longer," he whispered into the air, "until you swallow everything whole?" The grin had faded into a smirk, his eyes staring accusingly at the sky. The stars only glittered back at him, giving him innocent winks and childlike hopes. He would not be fooled by that again.

His mind faded, rewinding his life to look at his mistakes. He knew exactly what it was that he had done wrong; he knew exactly what left him in a grassy field without his two best friends. But he could not help but wonder how things could have been different if he had not started off on the wrong foot. Should he not have been blinded by darkness, could he have been the keyblade master? Could he have been the hero of the story, saving worlds and getting recognition? But that would have been taking away Sora's glory, and he knew that Sora deserved it far more than he would ever.

Riku let his eyes slide closed, his thoughts focusing on his best friend. He really did love him; it was only a shame that he had not shown it. He had been fueled by lies and jealousy, all farce hatred entirely made up of his inability to think on his own. This in itself was enough to make him think that Sora no longer cared about him and all it did was fuel him more.

He was sorry. Riku truly wished he could just apologize for everything he had done and just hold Sora in his arms. He just wanted acceptance again and to rid himself of the dreadful guilt that sat like lead in his gut. Silently, he prayed that Sora did not blame him for everything. He did not know what he would do with himself if the other boy hated him forever.

He opened his eyes, renewing his view of the sky. Sora was not capable of hatred; he was beyond that. Sora did not know hatred and could not hate. Riku supposed that was one of the things he truly loved about him; he was just so trusting and kind, and up until recently, he had been oblivious to what evil really was. He was just a good kid thrown into a bad situation.

Riku had not wanted to be the villain. In actuality, he had been quite unaware of the fact that he was the bad guy and Sora the hero until he had willed himself to see what the light was shining in his face. He should have been supporting Sora instead of fighting him and getting in his way, but he had been too blind to see his faults.

There was nothing he could do about the past now. He knew to live for the present and look towards the future; the past was out of reach now. But how could he not help to blame himself for this turnout? He could have prevented it if he had just tried.

He could almost hear Sora in his mind, telling him that it was not his fault. It was soothing in a way, making him relax.

"_Hey, Riku, look what I can do!"_

"_What?"  
_

"_No, look!"_

_Riku turned from the crashing waves to see Sora balancing Wakka's blitzball on his head, ducking down every now and then to keep it still. His bright blue eyes were focused intently on the ball, his arms spread out like wings. After a few seconds, the ball dropped and fell into the sand. Sora then looked to Riku with a large, bright grin, waiting for his approval._

"_Good job," Riku clapped causing Sora to bow overdramatically. "Keep practicing and maybe you'll be able to walk around like that."_

"_Won't that look funny?" Sora wrinkled his nose, giving Riku a thoughtful look._

"_Yeah, but that's the point," he joked back, waving his hand dismissively and turning to face the ocean once more._

Riku smiled, lifting a hand to trace the outline of a shadowed cloud. He could not help but enjoy those little memories as they held so much deep meaning to him. Without these moments that had already come to pass, he would have nothing left. It was all he had to hold onto until he found Sora again.

_He felt a heavy weight latch onto his back as skinny, tan arms wrapped around his neck, "Hey! You just want me to walk around and look funny, don't you?"_

_Riku laughed, grasping Sora's wrist to pry him off, "You caught me."_

"_That's so mean," he pointed out, releasing Riku and walking in front of his view. "Why do you want me to do that?"_

"_Wouldn't it be funny?" Riku smiled, poking Sora in the chest._

"_No, that wouldn't be funny!" Sora had his arms crossed, a pout forming on his face as his bottom lip jutted out and his brows creased._

"_I'm just messing with you, Sora. Don't do that," because Sora knew that look worked on Riku and made him sorry. _

Riku sat up, placing his head on his knees. The smile faded as he realized that he had no idea where to start looking for his better half. Sora could be anywhere on any world, fighting the darkness and saving the day.

Riku rather would have not thought about the other thing that could be happening to Sora. But no, he believed that the boy was strong enough. He did not need Riku worrying about him; he could take care of himself. He was no longer that scrawny little kid who could not fight off the bullies. Riku no longer needed to be his guardian and walk him through life, no matter how much he wanted to be by his side every second. Sora was fine.

"_What are you looking at?" Sora followed Riku's gaze to the ocean, squinting to try and see what he was finding so amazing._

"_The water," Riku answered simply, an amused smile curling onto his lips as Sora shielded his eyes from the sun, staring in confusion at the waves._

"_Why are you looking at the water? I don't see anything."_

"_Don't be superficial, Sora," Riku responded, tapping the brunet on the head smugly, "There's a lot to see there. That ocean stretches for miles and is home to some of the strangest things you'll ever see."_

"_Yeah," Sora crossed his arms, tilting his head to one side, "But why's that so amazing?"_

"_Some things are greater than they appear to be. They look like nothing but they're really so much more," he answered wisely, "You just have to look a little deeper than what you see."_

"_So," Sora gave him a sideways glance before his eyes drew back onto the water, "What is it I'm looking at?"_

_Riku smirked knowingly, quirking a brow, "You're looking at the Ocean, Sora."_

Sora was so oblivious at times that it was incredibly entertaining. It was not to say that the boy was stupid, because Sora was most definitely not so. However, he could act as though he was and fool one into believing that he truly was not smart, but he could say things at times that even took Riku aback.

He sighed and stood up, stretching his arms. He needed to get back to searching for Sora if he ever hoped to find him. The longer he sat and reminisced, the farther his best friend could be from him. It was time to go.

As he began to restart his journey, the stars above him glowed. They scorned him for turning his back on the darkness, daring him to find the light that he so desired. But Riku paid no mind to their reprimanding scolds and sugar-coated lies; he was on the road to recovery.

He would only fully recover when he had his love back in his sight. He would recover when he and Sora could stand by the ocean and gaze into its life carrying abyss. He would recover when the sky was nothing but light and the world was facing happier days. Then would he fully escape the dark hold within him and his world would no longer be thrust into night—only then.


End file.
